FobzyWhen should a young man marry?
April 1st 2008 06:30
Well, my last post went down like a lead balloon, musn't speak about that again, not worth the trouble, you wimps here don't deserve it. fobzy tells it like it is, unfortunately.
Well, that's the bad news and here's the worse.
Mother expects me home in two weeks time, insists I fly business class instead of first and it seems the party is over.
She expects me to stay two weeks while she introduces me to a nice little circle of young ladies, ranging in age from--- to ---.
And she says it's time I learned to run the family business.
When will she learn that I am not at all bright. The best she can expect from me is that I become a genleman farmer, looking after our estate, run by a very competent business manager, and the best she'll get out of me is my capacity to keep an eye on him and play detective to make sure he does the right thing.
Anyway, mother will have her way and I am to stay a minimum of two weeks and if we find a suitable partner for me to carry on the line with, she'll make discreet enquiries as to the young ladies' likely fertility stakes, by enquiring into their backgrounds to find out if they are prolific breeders or they are burdened by the threats of genetic infertility. And should you ask how she will do that all I can respond with is "you don't know mother"
Of course, she may have a problem explaining how I came into the world without a father, but that will be her problem, not mine.
We really need someone from an upper class family, much like my own, who will understand the necessity to produce a male heir and lots of other possible little contenders.
Of course, she must be skilled in the ways of running a big house and a large family but she will not be burdened by the lesser chores herself which means there will be a good cook, which will be an undoubted blessing.
I do think Mother is rushing things a bit when it comes to the marriage stakes, but as regards the farm I do have certain skills in judging a fine bit of horseflesh and many a gentleman farmer turns his hand to the racing stables, and that is one area where I may be considered to shine, stupid as I may be in many other directions.
Of course my contribution to the production of a wonderful Fobbs family line can be absolutely guaranteed as I am rather fond of that kind of activity myself.
All good things must come to an end and it seems the end for me is nigh upon us, but these things do take time and I expect it will be at least a year before the nuptials are announced and I'll be married off before you can say birds and bees and God made little apples.
I do hope this post goes over better, I rather enjoyed it myself, as it brought back fond memories of my wonderful life as a bachelor. Sadly, I don't think it will be long before all of that comes to an end.
Now, please remember, it's fobsy or if you like a formal approach Sebastian Fobbs Esq. recently of the United Kingdom, touring the world.
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