FobzyMother is going to the Royal Wedding, it's official!
April 20th 2011 01:24
It's official and now it's out. Now everyone knows who's going to the Royal Wedding. The guest list is out.
Sworn to secrecy before this we are now all allowed to talk about it.
Mother has invited one of the local farmers to accompany her. He presents very well, has excellent manners, is absolutely in love with the Royal Family and can't wait to see the Royal Horses.
Mother has been back and forth to the dress designers and has the most beautiful outfit and matching hat. She does look great. Her partner for the occasion is being supervised by Mother as to his outfit etc and nothing but the best will do for the Royal Show.
He's a widower and about Mother's age, they'll stay overnight in London at one of the best hotels. He's not too short of a bob which is just as well.
Mother has let it be known quite clearly that they'll be staying in separate suites, although what makes her such a paragon of virtue beats me, given the circumstances of my birth.
My old school mates still call me fobzy you old bastard, little knowing just how true that is. It is used fondly amongst fellows as a term of endearment. OK if you're not actually one by birth.
Mother says how improper she felt it was for Kate and William to have lived together before the sanctity of marriage.
I guess she knows from experience how 'having it off' before the wedding can lead to litte accidents like me.
She's got the hide to call herself Mrs. Fobbs when clearly she is Ms. Fobbs and she gets away with it.
Notwithstading all of this she's obviously of such aristocratic breeding as to receive the Royal invite. How important that makes her feel Charles our chauffeur will take her and her chosen partner off in the Rolls and he's desperately trying to come to grips with the parking protocol for guests and their vehicles. Quite a task he tells me.
Mother is in her element and for the time being all her little grandchildren are taking second place, that's good for me, I actually feel head of my own family for a change.
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