FobzyComputing down on the Farm.
April 22nd 2008 23:03
Mother has decided I must be put on the payroll and taught to account for myself.
First she has started with my private expenditure, maintaining no good squire worth his salt should be so financially ignorant as I am.
So I was taken into the farm office, (not Mary's little office at the back of the stables) sat down at the computer, having gone equipped with my personal cheque books and credit cards and given the task of recording all of my expenses for the last month.
It was very tedious, and I had to take a total and arrive at two start off figures ( commonly known as balances) for the next month which had to agree with the opening balances in my personal bank account and my credit card statement.
Putting down the information was not so difficult, but I did need quite a lot of help with the balancing thing. All a big mystery to me.
From now on, Mother informs me, I shall be a farm employee and expected to account for my wages to satisfy her and so that she could make arrangements for the rest of my financial affairs, reminding me that she would not remain on this earth for ever and I must learn to take responsibility for my own spending.
Mind you Mother seems to be in rattling good health and I wouldn't want to challenge her to a duel on any occasion.
I'm to receive a couple more credit cards, one for business expenses only and that requirement is to be strictly adhered to and one for the running of my own personal vehicle which after much vigorous persuasion from me Mother has agreed to let me have. Details are yet to be worked out.
Apparently I'm expected to do at least some computing for my expenses and to-day was the trial run. Not exactly my cup of tea, but I got there much to the staff's delight and relief as they took off to attend to their other farm functions, having, by the look on their faces, spent more than a reasonable amount of time with me.
My next task is to learn a small program called M.M.O.B. which is an acronym for Minding My Own Business, not to be confused with MYOB as Mother so rightly pointed out that we had no intention of minding other people's business, they could mind it themselves, this was not a firm of accountants.
This package has been specially designed for our own particular requirements.
Mother did inform me that the Farm Manager had staff to assist with general accounting duties but she wanted me to become more aware of financial management.
She warned me of the problems inherent in leaving all of these matters to external accountants as, if we were not careful, they would soon be running the show, by their standards, not by ours and Mother could not tolerate that idea at all.
So, it seems, that most of my partying days are over, more's the pity, but I do have to admit I have had more than a good run.
There'll be more of my newly come by business acumen in further posts.
Meanwhile I shall sit steadily MMOB, you know how it is.
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